Angel of Chaos
by XellAn-Chan
Summary: Xellos has lost his job and can continue as a human no longer...what'll become of him? set looong after Slayers TRY ends. sorry about the depressing nature. i was angsty and sad.


Disclaimer: i do not and never will own the rights to the Slayers or the song "Learning to Fly" byPink Floyd  
  
Angel of Chaos  
  
by XellAn-Chan  
  
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Into the distance, a ribbon of black stretched to the point of no turning back  
  
A figure stands at the edge of the road, gazing off in the direction of the horizon. The path winds forever on and on, heading only toward his destiny. He is a young man, with a slender body and an attractive face. His hair frames his face in a straight line of violet. Few would guess, just by looking upon him, that he was once one of the most powerful beings in the world.  
  
a flight of fancy, on a windswept field standing alone, my senses reeled  
  
How, he wonders, have I gotten myself into this? I used to be immortal, I used to have a purpose. Now my existence is meaningless, I have nothing, not even some one else's powers. I wanted it, I wished for it. It was a dream, not something I wished to be reality. He wishes to cry. He wishes for comfort. But no one is there.  
  
a fatal attraction holding me fast, how can i escape this irresistable grasp?  
  
The desire for power, the greed. He had been all too human when she'd made her offer. She'd inticed him, drew on his primal faults. His eyes lit up at the word "immortal" and she knew, as soon as she promised it, he'd be her's forever. He had no way to free himself from human needs other than to give up his mortality. He'd been powerful, he'd been feared. And he lost it all at the destruction of his Lord.  
  
can't keep my eyes from the circling skies tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth bound misfit, i  
  
He is headed back to human life, back to mortality. She was gone, he has no family, no friends and no real past. He is like a fallen angel, the angel of chaos, who has plunged to earth after the rebellion of his soul. He doesn't fit in, he doesn't belong. When he sees people along the road, he has no clue to say to them and they eye him suspiciously.  
  
ice is forming on the tips of my wings unheeded warnings i thought i thought of everything  
  
Yet, no angel is he. He is hardened, he has no zeal for life. There is nothing good about being mortal and he knows it. He'd been disillusioned by life when he had been a demon, he knows it is a pointless existence he faces. He'd thought he had everything, thought he was beyond human problems.  
  
no navigator to guide my way home unladen, empty and turned to stone  
  
He knows not where to go, what to do. There is no longer any one watching his movements, telling him what needs to be done. He has nothing him holding him back, he is empty, save for the wave of unfamiliar emotions that washes over him.  
  
a soul in tension that's learning to fly condition grounded but determened to try  
  
The world is against him, saying he'll never make it. Learning to live again seems to be killing him. The laws of the jungle say he should be dead and gone, but he doesn't give up easily.  
  
can't keep my eyes from the circling skies tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth bound misfit, i  
  
There is no one quite like him, no one who has been to Hell and back. No one knows what it's like. And there he is. Alone.  
  
above the planet on a wing and a prayer my grubby halo, a vapor trail in the empty air  
  
He prays to the gods that he can break away from his past, from the memories that bind him. By Ceipheed, he's human and he wants to rectify. He wants no longer to be stuck in a world full of deception and empty promises. His prayer is simple: "Grant me strength, grant me courage. Let me fly from here..."  
  
across the clouds i see my shadow fly out of the corner of my watering eye  
  
The past follows behind him, a dreadful reminder of what he had been. As tears fill his lilac eyes, he sees a woman before him in the road. She has a hand extended to him, her face is pleasant. "Are you lost?" She questions softly.  
  
"I...I am very lost...My soul, my heart...everything is lost..." He sobs, "I see...shadows...of who I once was, who I am no longer...I don't know who I am." She smiles kindly. "I was once like you are now. I know you are tired and afraid. I know it's hard to go on when all seems to be lost. The chaos that ensues...it comes when you least expect it. But love has the grace to save us."  
  
a dream unthreatened by the morning light could blow this soul right through the roof at night  
  
He never expected to hear the word love. Not in a million years. It was like a wonderful fantasy, this woman before him, and, as she spreads her wings, nothing can snap him from the glorious reverie which surrounds him.  
  
there's no sensation to compare with this suspended animation, a state of bliss  
  
He feels his feet leaving the ground as her wings flap round him. There is a lightness to his being, a happy joyous feeling, as if his heart has burst within his chest. He closes his eyes and his soul is freed of its burden.  
  
can't keep my eyes from the circling skies tongue-tied and twisted, just an earth bound misfit, i  
  
As the clouds rush down to greet him, his own wings unfurl and he is reborn as the most wonderful being. The woman smiles at his speechlessness. "You have a new life now, a new purpose. Welcome, Xellos Metallium, Angel of Chaos."  
  
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End file.
